Pre-Christmas Randomness

With less than two weeks until Christmas Day, I thought I would share some random thoughts about the season. It doesn’t feel much like Christmas, after all, we have been listening to Christmas music since Halloween.

Speaking of Christmas music, have you noticed you only hear maybe ten or fifteen Christmas songs? They just keep playing the same ones over and over, I never knew there were so many variations of “Let it Snow”. In a two-hour span the other day I heard at least five of them. Mixed in with the seven different recordings of “Winter Wonderland” and three and a half of “Sleighride” (the half was part of a medley” it can really put a damper on Christmas Spirit.

But speaking of this, most of these songs aren’t even Christmas songs, or using the politically correct term, “Holiday Music”. Winter music I’ll buy, but they say nothing about Christmas, Haunakuh, Kwanza, or even New Years Day. They talk about snow, sleighs, jingle bells, clowns, and preachers, but nowhere do we hear anything about Santa Claus, candy canes, or even the real reason we have Christmas, Jesus.

Speaking of political correctness when are we going to update some of these songs? Why do we call them snowmen – shouldn’t they be snow persons? Do we really know if Frosty was a man? Women are equal to men, this must also be the case with snow persons. Can’t snow women go thumpity, thump, thump too? At least the snow women don’t have to worry about freezing snowballs.

As a healthy weight-challenged person, I take offense to the “bowl full of jelly” reference when it comes to describing when Santa Claus laughs. I would also be concerned about his keeping a list about who’s been naughty or nice. And this seeing you when you are sleeping or awake sure sounds like stalking to me. And frolicking and playing the Eskimo way? It definitely sounds Eskimophobic if you ask me.

And finally, every year we see these television commercials, which we can’t really call television commercials anymore since they show up on your phone and computers as well, where the husband or wife buys the other a $50,000 luxury automobile for Christmas. Or how about the one where the husband buys two. Honestly, who really does this? Anyone? Show of hands?

Ok, that’s enough of my rambling for now. I am sure you’ll hear more from me before Christmas, well unless I get arrested for driving while LATW (laughing all the way). Some police officers might think I have had too much egg nog.

Happ…happy holi…no, I just can’t – Merry Christmas.

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